My sister MJ has never been to New York City. She’s a lot younger than I am and is still in the thick of little kids, school, naps etc. That makes it difficult to just hop on a plane and take off for a few days, which is kind of ironic, since being the Mom of little kids means you really really need to hop on a plane and take off for a few days. At least, every once in a while.
Way back in 2000, I had a kindergartener, a senior in high school and two in between. I recall being so on edge I was ready to spontaneously combust. At that time, my parents were spending the month of March down on Marco Island, in Florida. They invited me to join them. I abandoned Jay and the kids and ran away for ten days. TEN DAYS.
I came home relaxed, off the edge, ready to tackle all my Mom duties with a clear head and calm heart. Jay and the kids had had a lovely ten days of living on pizza and oreos and a break from my nagging and I’d had ten days of no one asking me to do anything for them. Everyone was better for the time apart.
Back in October of ’16, a bunch of us took off for a week in NYC, including shopping, sight-seeing and shows. MJ could not swing it, as much as she wanted to. At the time, Tater Tot was barely one and the logistics of child care for two school kids and a baby made the trip untenable for her. We all felt a little bit bad about taking off without her but not too bad and not for very long. We had a blast.
So when she was offered an opportunity to jet off to the Big Apple for two days with a friend who just happened to have tickets to the opening of Jimmy Buffet’s new Broadway show, I was more than happy to step in.
Which is why I’m camped out on MJ’s couch, watching the Secret Life of Pets with Tater Tot.
Like any Mom, leaving her kids behind, she was nervous. Just because I managed to raise four kids to adulthood without any of them ending up in prison is no reason to suppose I know how to keep her kids alive for 36 hours. I happen to agree with her on that point, so I asked her to leave me a schedule.
She taped a long and detailed note on the kitchen wall.
It was not as helpful as I would have liked.
There was a paragraph on why it’s a bad idea to let Tot play in the bathroom (pretty sure I knew that) but not a word as to when he goes down for a nap.
This is when modern technology is great. One text and I had all the info I needed about the kids’ schedules.
Tot got bored with The Secret Life of Pets, ate a half a dozen strawberries, pooped on the toilet (yay!) and is now mesmerized by some kid show we found on Netflix. It’s almost scary how into it he is. It’s a very simple show full of songs about colors and shapes.
It’s scary how into it I am.
We played catch with a nerfball for an hour before Tot went down for his nap. I guess I wore him out because he slept until it was time to get the girls from school.
Having been well prepared for their afternoons with me, the girls changed into playclothes, ate a snack and did their homework without any prompting from me. All three kids played nicely together until Tot found that nerfball and he and I played catch until dinnertime.
Everyone’s behavior was exemplary right up through bedtime, which Bean loudly announced before all three trooped off to don jammies, brush teeth and go to bed.
It couldn’t have been easier.
Day two, Tot and I ran back to my house after the girls went to school. I needed to drop off the stuff I no longer needed and pick up a new book, since I finished what I’d been reading last night.
It’s another clear, sunny pre spring day here in the great white north.
Jay was home, so he and Tot played Bop it! While I took a shower.
Tot discovered the box of toys we’ve kept in the little bedroom ever since Xena’s first Christmas. There’s gotta be toys at Nana’s house! If there’s anything guaranteed to capture the attention of a two year old, it’s a big box of someone else’s toys.
Tot was delightful and seemed more than ready to spend the entire day chatting with Jay but I had to get him home for his nap. I’m far too experienced to think skipping or curtailing nap time is a good decision: the nicest kids ever born turn into little monsters without their naps. You think Gremlins was about feeding creatures after midnight? No: it was about toddlers who miss their naps.
Once again, Tot went down for his nap with enthusiasm and slept like a little coma victim. In fact, I had to wake him up after nearly three hours to go pick up his sisters from school. He was not happy about getting waked up.
While he was asleep, I took advantage of MJ’s HBO subscription to watch the 9th season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. No wonder Larry David took the show out of mothballs, he had a brilliant comedic idea in a political mine field that only South Park has had the guts to navigate! In a word: Fatwa!
A friend came home with Nanners, so the kids were all busy with each other while I got dinner ready. We had veggie noodles and dinner picnic while watching a show the kids loved, called Brain Games.
It was fantastic! I loved it, too. If you’ve never seen it, you should check it out. Each half hour episode is about a different avenue into studying the brain and it’s aimed at kids so its fast paced, easy to understand and focuses on fun and weird things.
The only glitch that occurred was after dinner, while Tot was on the toilet. I broke the bathroom door.
I don’t know! The thing just fell off the hinges when I opened it! Honest!
I was afraid the door would fall on someone, so I told them all what happened. I got the distinct impression this was not a new event. Turns out, it’s much more novel when Tot jumps off the toilet in mid-poop than having the door fall off. Takes a lot longer to clean up, too.
Eventually, friend went home, dinner was eaten and cleaned up, bathroom was rendered safe to use, although the mat had to be tossed down the laundry chute, pajamas were on and bedtime was upon us. All the kids were happy that Mom would be home when they awoke in the morning.
I was happy to be able to get back to Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Kent actually got home from work before MJ landed. He brought me a meatloaf dinner!!
My two days with MJ’s kids could hardly have gone any easier. Not a single moment of naughtiness or even Mom-loneliness marred it. If the kids resented me being there, they all hid it well. In fact, I would have preferred if Kent had been a bit later returning home: I still have one episode of Curb to watch.
But I guess MJ will need a babysitter again, someday.