I don’t do resolutions. I know I won’t keep any so why bother? Although…I do think once the Christmas cookies are gone, I shouldn’t make any more cookies for a while. But I’m making chocolate pecan crinkles today because it’s finally cold enough outside and I bought all the ingredients. It would be wasteful not to make them and waste is worse than…lots of things.
Plus, the house is still full of people so I won’t have to eat all the cookies myself.
I spent last night ringing in the new year with the Grandbabies.
Ty and Megan went out, leaving me and Jay to party with the littlies. Jay cooked us a beautiful and delicious roast. Then he watched football while Babydoll, Babalouie and I sat on the couch. I read my book (Yes, Please, by Amy Poehler) and Babydoll watched the Land Before Time on her mom’s kindle. I could tell Babalouie was sleepy. He fights it but I was stronger. I held him until he fell asleep, around 9:00.
Jay was the next to pack it in. He had practice at 9:00 this morning, so no late night for him. Actually, 9:00 is about average for our New Year’s celebrations.
Babydoll and I moved to the recliner, where we cuddled while she watched her movie on her kindle and I popped in a disk of Better Off Ted.
At 10:00, she turned her movie off and said “I have to go to bed.”
So I tucked her in and she said I didn’t have to sit with her. I think she was asleep before I got back to the TV room.
Easiest babysitting job, ever.
It helps when they spend the entire day at the MOA, going on rides.
They both slept well and have started the new year in happy moods.
I do love the idea of a new years as a clean slate and a chance to re-invent one’s life and self. It’s just that I’ve already spent over a half a century creating what I have and it’s pretty darn close to perfect. Yes, I could exercise more, get organized, write more, paint more, read more…
But I know myself.
Organization stresses me out and I don’t do well under that kind of stress. Some sorts of stress are good for me and I seek them out; take on too much work, etc. But it has to be stress of my choosing and on my terms. Hmmm.
That’s not really ‘stress’, it’s more ‘being alive’, isn’t it?
I know I’m lucky. No, not lucky. Fortunate. Luck makes it sound accidental. Good fortune is more a matter of grabbing the opportunities that pass your way, not being a dumbshit and not looking back in regret.
Grabbing Jay when he wandered into my orbit Lo, these many years ago, basically ensured a happy life for me.
So, as I said, I’m reading Amy Poehler’s book. It’s very entertaining. There’s a chapter where she describes being in her thirties, married no kids and how much fun it was but then she realized if she wanted kids (she’d always wanted kids) she’d best get a move on.
Reading this made me realize how backwards the generations after mine are. Poehler is 11 years younger than I but 1960 to ’71 are a significant 11 years.
I had my first child at the age of 22 and had four by 35. She got started at 37 and most likely will never have four. When she’s my age, her oldest child will still be in high school.
My God, the exhaustion!
I’m so glad I had kids when I was young and energetic and too inexperienced to be terrified of the responsibility! While I knew death lurked around every corner to snatch my kids from me, I always assumed Jay and I were invincible. Now that I know we’re not, the kids are adults, able to take care of themselves and each other. Now that I don’t have the energy to be at the constant beck and call of little kids, I don’t have to be.
Living your ‘empty nest’ years in your thirties is stupid.
I know not everyone gets to choose. Sometimes you don’t find the perfect person until later. I get that.
I know not everyone wants kids. I get that, too. Looking around the world, it seems obvious that not everyone should have kids.
All I know is that I’m really glad I had mine when I did and I love having grown up kids now and I LOVE having grandkids.
Jay and I are back where we started; just the two of us. It’s so much fun.
Like everything else in life, I think we enjoy our empty nest years more if we’ve earned them.
2015 should be a good year.