Here’s something you don’t hear every day: My new fanny pack came and it’s AWWWWWWEsome!
I’ve been rocking a fanny pack for over ten years. It’s not a fashion statement, I’m very aware of how dorky it is and I’m not a hipster, although I really don’t care how dorky it is and I just realized it is a statement. It says “I’d lose my head if it weren’t attached.”
I used to be able to buy new fanny packs in the bicycling section of my local sporting goods outlet but apparently they’ve become too fashion-don’t even for guys who wear spandex shorts in public. Dick’s doesn’t carry them anymore.
A place called “Dick’s” doesn’t carry fanny packs.
Thank goodness for Amazon.
Fanny packs exist at Amazon and they’re in such hot demand that you can buy a leather one for under $10.00. Me and the worst fashion accessory of the century are a match made in heaven.
Earlier this week, the zipper on my pack broke. I knew I’d have to order a new one soon, as the front pocket of this version was ripping off, so when the zipper broke I hopped online and looked for a new one.
It came this afternoon.
It’s got a main pocket big enough for my wallet but it’s also equipped with credit card pockets. It has a place for my cell phone, pen, benedryl pack, measuring tape, Sam’s club card and quarter for the shopping cart at Aldi. All my essentials! Best of all, it already has a keyring attachment inside a pocket big enough for my keys and my Monkees key chain!
It’s like I designed it myself.
Speaking of designing it myself, while awaiting the arrival of the new pack, I wore one of my custom needlepoint bags. I like the straps long enough to wear over my head to address the put-it-down-and-lose-it problem. This particular bag was made by my Nemesis, who is a brilliant seamstress!
I wore this one to Menard’s, where I bought myself a new vacuum, which came packaged in a large box. I’d parked next to a cart corral and when I got back to my van, an employee was lining up the carts to bring back inside. I lifted the rear gate of my minivan and without saying a word, the guy came over to my cart and lifted the huge box out and placed it in the back of my van.
“Hey, thanks!” I said. He said one word.
“Shiny.”, offered me a fist bump and went about his day.
Browncoats FOREVER!