Q: My stoneware dishes have what appear to be scratches on them. Scrubbing with water and baking soda has helped but I can still see lines. Should I be concerned that the glaze is cracking?
A: I’m concerned that you have nothing better to read than your stoneware glazes. Yes, chuck the old stuff and go buy new dishes. And a few books while you’re at it.
Q: I’ve read your suggestions for deodorizing a pickle jar in order to reuse it but I’ve soaked the metal lid repeatedly and it still smells. Help!
A: It’s called ‘hoarding’ and there is help available. After a few sessions, I’m confident that you’ll be able to throw your garbage away.
Q: I have a flat top electric stove with baked-on food stains. I’ve tried the products the manufacturer recommends with no luck. Any ideas?
A: What you’re complaining about is what I think of as the ‘natural appliance patina’. A simple change in attitude and this becomes a feature, not a bug.
Q: My cherry hardwood floors have lighter spots where the rugs used to be. What do you suggest to eliminate this discoloration?
A: Wall to wall carpeting.
Q: My mother passed down to me an Amish hutch that’s about 50 years old. It has an awful musty smell—do you have any advice? My only alternative is to make firewood out of it!
A: Nonsense, you don’t have to make firewood out of it! Place it on the boulevard with a ‘FREE’ sign on it and your problem will be solved within a day!